Embarking on the medical school journey is a path filled with triumphs and tribulations. Here at the end of my second week of classes, I found myself reflecting on last year’s challenge that tested my determination and resolve. The setback of failing the unit 4 anatomy exam, after having failed the unit 2 and 3 anatomy exams, cast a shadow of doubt on my dreams, making me question if I had what it takes to continue this journey. The daunting prospect of repeating the year and the tantalizing thought of returning to my previous life as full-time university faculty loomed large. However, a series of experiences and revelations steered me away from the brink of giving up and has allowed me to emerge stronger, more resolute, and determined to succeed.
When the unit 4 exam results were released last year, I thought that I’d passed and would have the opportunity to remediate the units 2 and 3 exams. Successfully remediating them would have meant that I would have moved into my OMS-2 year. However, the news of failing the unit 4 anatomy exam struck me with a wave of sadness, disappointment, and self-doubt. The initial excitement and optimism I had carried with me into medical school were quickly overshadowed by feelings of inadequacy. Being told that I would have to repeat the year was a significant setback. It was during this juncture that I contemplated returning to my former, comfortable, and predictable life as faculty. I sought solace in familiarity rather than persisting through uncertainty.
Amidst the internal struggle, a profound discovery turned the tide of my emotions. After my mother passed on 17-July 2023, Eboni stumbled upon some of my mother's writings and prayers. I never knew that she was that interested in the personal, academic, and career goings on in my life, but her writings and prayers captured her unwavering belief in my potential to not only enter medical school but to become the physician she had never had the opportunity to be treated by. This realization struck a chord deep within me and reignited the fire of my initial aspirations. I realized that my journey wasn't just for myself but was a testament to the hopes and dreams of those who believed in me.
As I navigated the decision to return to my previous life or stick with medical school, friends and mentors emerged as guiding lights in my darkest moments. The outpouring of support, encouragement, and assistance I received from those around me breathed new life into my wavering determination. Their belief in my abilities and willingness to extend a helping hand rekindled my faith in myself. With their guidance, I began to prepare to repeat the year by focusing on studying anatomy during my summer break.
The conclusion of this second week has marked a significant turning point in my journey. A newfound sense of confidence has begun to bloom within me. The once-confusing concepts in anatomy and overwhelming academic pressure has started to recede, and I have a newfound sense of clarity and understanding. I don’t feel constantly behind. Astonishingly, I discovered that I am not only embracing the subject matter but I’m also beginning to excel in it.
Crucially, the start of this term has been marked by a profound shift in perspective regarding success and self-care. I have learned to liberate myself from the unhealthy habit of comparing my progress to that of my classmates. I have embraced the truth that success is a personal journey and cannot be measured solely by study hours or sleepless nights. Rejecting the notion that burning the midnight oil is the only path to success, I am prioritizing self-care, spending time with my wife, and having weekly check in’s with my brother-from-another-mother, Rob, recognizing their pivotal role in helping me to maintain both mental and physical well-being.
Central to this transformation has been the unwavering support of an incredible study partner. A former soldier like me, a devoted family man, and a kindred spirit, he understands the challenges of this journey on a deep level. Sharing a similar mindset, we not only push each other to excel but also provide the support necessary to overcome obstacles. His presence has been a source of inspiration, reminding me that resilience and determination are key to overcoming adversity.
At the end of this second week of medical school, I have found myself reflecting on the whirlwind of emotions, challenges, and triumphs that define this brief yet transformative period. From the brink of giving up to the realization that quitting was not in my DNA, this journey has been one of growth, resilience, and self-discovery. With a renewed sense of purpose, a network of support, and a newfound understanding of success and self-care, I embark on the rest of this term with confidence, ready to face the upcoming challenges and emerge stronger on the other side.
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