Don't be consumed by the quest to get into medical school: Remember those who helped you get to where you are

Yesterday, I received some very shocking news. One of my outside dissertation committee members, Dr. Chelsea Deroche, passed away, suddenly, on March 7th. Apparently, as far as we in the Sinclair School of Nursing know, there was no prior illness and she had just come back from maternity leave. Dr. Deroche was an amazing professor, one of the best that I have had across all of my graduate studies and hands down, she was the best statistics professor that I have ever had. She was so very patient with me (and all of my classmates if you were to ask them) and she knew how to “unlock” statistics to make it understandable. I was THRILLED when she agreed to sit on my committee because I wanted to show her that I’d absorbed all of the lessons that she’d taught me. Like any of my high school or college football coaches, I wanted to make her proud. We’d last spoken about two weeks ago and she said that she was looking forward to my dissertation defense in May and she said that she was happy and proud of me that I’d gotten into medical school. Over the last year, I’d really come to see Dr. Deroche as a friend. It seems that the good one’s don’t get to stay with us for long enough…

We never know when death will come to claim our loved ones. As I’ve gotten older, its dawned on me that as an African American male, I am at increased risk of certain chronic ailments and I’ve seen a significant number of my high school classmates pass on to the next life over these last few years. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my own mortality and that of my wife (as a Black female who is attempting to have a child, there are risks from chronic disease, pregnancy, and childbirth). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready to leave this life and I tell Eboni all the time that I pray that the Lord allows us to live a healthy, active, full life well into our late 90s or early 100s. The thing is that this year and the recent passing of Dr. Deroche has shown me that we can’t take the people in our lives for granted and we have to let them know that we love and care about them while we can.

I know that we are all incredibly busy with taking the MCAT, finishing pre-requisites, making lists of schools to apply to, writing personal statements, and all of the seemingly millions of other things that we have to do to have a successful application season. Its overwhelming at times. Last year, when I was preparing for the MCAT, I was working full time and finishing the last of my PhD coursework/writing my dissertation prospectus. I remember my wife saying one night, “It seems like we are just two ships passing in the night.” Those words really came back to me after I heard about Dr. Deroche’s passing. Don’t let the pursuit of a goal keep you from letting your loved one’s know that you care. Don’t forget the people who made it possible for you to be where you are. If not for my wife, I would not have gotten into medical school. She’s been my rock and support since before I returned to finish my undergraduate degree. When she and I met in 2006, when I was literally blind, she and her mother gave me the gift of sight. It would not be an overstatement on my part to say that she is the whole reason why I will be starting medical school on July 26th. If any of you have had that kind of support, please honor those people and when you can, spend time with them. You never know when they won’t be here to spend time with.