Today ended my week 7. We had an eight-hour medical skills training day on campus today from 0800-1600 as part of the EMT component of the curriculum. Can’t say that I was too happy about this given that our final exam is the week after next; today was VALUABLE study real estate. Oh, AND there will be new material that is being introduced for the exam next week…
This week was hard emotionally. Seeing all of the 9/11 20th year anniversary stuff in the media and my COVID fatigue really got to me. On Monday of this week, I’d gone to HEB to buy ingredients for chicken gnocchi soup, and I saw two idiots fighting in the store; one was wearing a mask and the other was anti-mask and was following the mask wearer around, needling him. Next thing you know, they were fighting. Seeing this made me angry and sad as I remembered what the immediate aftermath of 9/11 was like. For about two months, everyone just got along. It’s a shame that it took this national tragedy to make people put aside political and religious differences to come together (albeit, for a short time) but it felt good. Flash forward to the COVID pandemic and I am seeing people go out of their way to be assholes to one another as opposed to unifying to do something that is in the best interest of the nation.
I’m also seriously COVID-fatigued. Last year, Eboni and I were locked inside for the entire year. Don’t get me wrong, we were glad to do it for the sake of the nation and for the safety of the healthcare workers and everyone else who kept the country going through all of that. Its just that here we are a year later and we’re essentially back where we started. I’m tired of wearing an N95 to class every day. Tired of the constant COVID testing. Tired of being a medical student who can’t do rotations or volunteer activities, because of the fear that the school has of liability. Tired of having to meet with classmates over Zoom to study or meeting with campus organizations over Zoom for meetings. Tired of not being able to go to church. Again, I get it, every American needs to do their part so that we can get back to some kind of normal, but there are so many who refuse to do the simplest things and instead, they make this all about politics and individual rights as opposed to doing what is best for the local and national community.
So anyway, I had a good cry in small group on Wednesday; my classmates were all there for me and I told Eboni that I want to find a therapist. I didn’t think that I had anything to unload regarding this last year, but as Eboni and I talked, our frustrations (not with each other! If we hadn’t been on lock down with each other, things would have been so much worse!) with family, friends, the government, COVID, 9/11, and our jobs boiled over. We both decided that we need to see a therapist individually, so she is working to find some options for us. I’m thankful that I have a wife that understands and encourages the use of therapy… In any case, when finals are over, hopefully I will have found someone to speak to.
