God is right...

I went to Walmart this morning after class; Eboni hasn't been feeling well so I wanted to surprise her by turning her home office into an oasis. While I was there, I ran across this sign that is now posted up on my book case. Sometimes, when God speaks to you, He speaks to you in a whisper. Other times, He beats you over the head with a sack of bricks. The last few days, I've gotten fairly conflicting messages that are, in retrospect, not from God, but seeing this today was like Him hitting me over the head with that proverbial sack of bricks. I know what I need to do so the question now is do I have the courage to stay the course? If I stay the course, I 100% need to revamp the way that I am taking care of myself, correction, not taking care of myself. Last week, when Eboni looked at me and told me that she could tell that I was not well, she was so right (to the fellas who are reading this, believe me when I say that when you've been with your wife for so long, they know EVERYTHING about you. You don't have to open your mouth for them to know if you are well or not, telling the truth or not...) At the rate that I am going, I won't make it to year three in a physically or mentally healthy frame of mind. I need to figure this out...

The etiquette of seeking a mentor

I was in the midst of studying limb embryology when my wife sent me a text message. She was amused and slightly annoyed at an email that she received from a student at our alma mater, who is seeking a mentor. I don’t want to sound like the old fuddy duddy or. A “boomer”, but there is a certain etiquette to these things and your success with establishing and maintaining your mentor-mentee relationship will depend in part, on professionalism.

First, pay attention to surroundings. When you send someone an email, you may not know if that person is a faculty member or whether that person has a doctorate. Thus, don’t feel entitled to use that persons first name in an email. Start with Mr./Mrs./Ms.Better yet, do some research before sending the email to see if you can find out something about that potential mentor. Do they have preferred pronouns? Do they have a doctorate? What department do they work in? If you get a response to your email, pay attention to the signature line of the email; if you see any indication that the person has a doctorate degree, and/or preferred pronouns, you refer to that person by their honorific (i.e., Dr. So-and-so) or preferred pronouns unless and until they grant you permission to refer to them by first name or some other way. One of my wife’s pet peeves (I understand given her status as one of the few African American female faculty at her medical school) is when students or prospective mentees refer to her as Eboni or Ms. Anderson despite her signature line clearly showing that she has earned her doctorate and her signing her name at the end of emails as “Dr. Anderson.”

Next, when you are reaching out to someone to ask for mentorship, be prepared. For starters, send a proper email of introduction. Spell check it and make sure that your grammar represents what you are trying to portray. Next, BRIEFLY tell your story (i.e., who, what, when, where, how, and why), make the ask, and thank them. What goes along with this, if you have a copy of your resume/CV, unofficial transcripts, personal statement, and/or standardized test results, include these in your email. These things will give us a clue as to how we might best help AND where to start.

If you develop the mentor-mentee relationship, don’t waste your mentor’s time. A young man reached out to me almost 16 months ago, requesting assistance with planning his undergraduate studies and preparing himself for medical school. When I take on a mentee, one of the things that I like to do is find out what they expect of me and how much of a time commitment they are willing to devote and what time they expect of me. This student asked to meet on a frequent basis but what ensued was strings of broken meetings. I get it, life happens. If you must break meetings, let your mentor know in advance. And if you are at a place in your life where you are not able to have a mentor, that is A-OK, acknowledge that and let your mentor know that it’s not a good time for mentorship. Believe me, most mentors will understand and not take it personally. What goes along with this, is an understanding that as your relationship develops and grows, you may find yourself in a position where you are considered a friend or family. My wife and I have two mentees, Destiney and Asia, who are no longer mentees but family. Asia is my little sister and Destiney is my daughter from another mother. Eboni and I have done a lot for Asia and Destiney and whenever the four of us are in the same state, we don’t miss a time to get together. We have a running chat on our iPhones, and we all chat almost daily. It took TIME for these bonds to grow, however. You’ve got to allow these relationships to grow organically. Its NEVER appropriate to ask your mentor for money if you’ve developed a pattern of continuously standing him up, being un prepared when you do meet, and being less than honest with him.

There is much more that I could say but I need to get back to the books. What I will say in closing is that few of us make it to medical school or a doctorate or even out of undergrad without some type of mentorship. Lord knows that I would not have gotten to where I am if not for the various mentors that I have had over the years, and I do not anticipate successfully getting to a family medicine residency without the guidance of mentors. Building relationships with people is an art and I wish that this was a skill that was taught in high school and in undergrad. There are books and journal articles that give advice on how to network, build relationships, and seek mentors. I highly suggest taking the time to look at some of these resources if developing relationships with. People or seeking mentors is a weakness. You can have a lot of doors opened for you with the right mentor0mentee relationship. Just make sure that you are ready to fully engage with your mentor when the time arises. Back to the books!

Can I work while in medical school?

As a rule, no. Medical school is a full-time job in and of itself. Even at my school where the curriculum is set up to be a *little* more student friendly, being a student is essentially an all-day job. That said, I do have some classmates who are doing things on the side. I myself am still an adjunct faculty at a school in Arizona.

If you have a master’s degree, it may be possible for you to teach an online class or two. When I started teaching online in 2009-’10, we were responsible for building our own classes, writing our own syllabi, finding our own teaching materials, etc. Essentially, we were building curriculum and teaching, and classes were a lot more labor intensive. Over the last ten years however, there has been a shift to standardization and what I find now is that schools that have a heavy online presence have departments that build the classes, write the syllabi, design the assignments and grading rubrics, etc. These days, I don’t teach as much as watch over the classes unless a student needs something and of course, assign grades at the end. My responsibilities generally include responding to student emails within 24 hours, grading assignments within 48 hours of the due date (sometimes, 72 hours), and interacting with students in the discussion boards (and few students ever interact back). Quizzes grade themselves and many classes no longer have exams. The most labor-intensive work that I have now is grading papers and these usually are no longer than three to four pages in length. I spend a bit of time teaching APA but other than that, teaching online is low stress and doesn’t take any time from my studies.

I have other friends who were nurses, firefighters, PA’s, paramedics, and consultants in their pre-medical school lives and some of them work. My buddy who is a firefighter-paramedic works one or two shifts per month, on weekends and I have another friend at USC SoM who does research consulting for $150/hr. Another friend of mine was a DNP before medical school and she does PRN shifts at urgent cares in and around San Francisco a few times each month. My point is that if you have the right skill set and education, its possible to make a little money while you are in medical school.

Working while you are in medical school is NOT optimal but I get it. Many of us have reasons why we have to continue working. For some, the loans are not enough, particularly if they have family and for others, they are not able to get loans for various reasons. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to work, just make sure that you choose something that is low stress and doesn’t keep you from your studies (or sleep). Best of luck to you.

A few points for non-traditional medical school applicants to consider

It’s been a minute since I last had time to blog. Since that time, I’ve completed three of the EMT skills day, including one day of NREMT Psychomotor Skills Testing, taken final exams & finished Unit 1, and started Unit 2 (today marks the start of week 3 of Unit 2). Things have picked up considerably and time is even less of a resource than it was in Unit 1. That said, I really wanted to share something that I want you to all think about, particularly if you are a non-traditional student with a spouse and/or children.

About a week ago, a headhunter reached out to me on LinkedIn and asked if I would be interested in applying to a Population Health Director role with United Health Group and an Academic Dean of Health Sciences role at a local, Phoenix, AZ-area community college. These roles pay $114K and over $130K respectively and the Dean’s role in particular, would suite me well because of m y academic background and the fact that I hold a doctorate. The role would also come with tenure so I would never have to worry about a job again. I could literally sit in the role until I retire or maybe seek to move up to something like President of one of the community colleges in the system or even a Provost within the system.

I have been praying about what course of action to take. On one hand, I fought so hard and for so long to get to medical school. Those of you who know me, know how long and how hard this fight was. It feels almost absurd to walk away. On the other hand, there is the reality that attending medical school as a non-traditional student, particularly when you are nearing 50 (I will be 50 in November) or have family, money issues hit differently than they do when you are in your 20s or 30s with no real financial responsibilities. One of the kids who I’ve gotten to know since being here sort of sums up the difference. He is 24 and lives at home with his parents. Though he is taking student loans, his parents are also paying for his car note (2021 Mercedes Benz SUV) and just dropped $2k on an Apple Macbook Pro four or five weeks ago. I don’t blame him, if I had those advantages, I won’t sit here and say that I wouldn’t take advantage of them. In truth, I don’t know how I would act if that advantage had ever been afforded to me. In my situation, however, Eboni is taking on 99% of the financial burden of me being in medical school. While she earns a comfortable six-figure salary, because of the increased cost of everything, me being in medical school is a financial burden. She’s never said anything to me about it and I still teach adjunct status with A.T. Still so that I can at least pay my truck note and take care of some small things around the house, but I see the lines of concern on her face each month when it’s time to pay rent, utilities, her car note, student loan, etc…

The other thing that I think about is that if I make the decision to stay in medical school, this means almost a decade of Eboni fronting the financial cost of this little adventure. I’ll be 56 when I finish residency so we’re looking at me being out of work for at least 6 ½ more years or so and that assumes that I am fortunate enough to secure a family or internal medicine residency right out of the gate. One of the other realities that does not get enough attention is that there is a fair amount of ageism in medical school admissions and residency selection. Now and again, you’ll see these stories in the media about an older residency applicant having to sue a residency program because of age discrimination. In any case, the other thing that is of concern for me is that these six, almost seven years, that I am not working is also time that I am missing out on saving for retirement. To be sure, once I am a physician, I’ll be able to make those years up financially and if I choose to continue my commitment with the VA, and work till I am in my mid-70s, I’ll have a decent retirement. That brings up a whole different question regarding how long I actually want to work but that is a subject for another day.

My point in mentioning all of this is that if you are planning on attending medical school as an older student with existing financial obligations, please carefully consider your financial plan. If you are married, consider what that will look like for you and your spouse, especially if you have young children and have to rely on one income. A few of us older students in my class do work on a part time or as-needed basis, but this little money that we bring in does not make up for the major loss of income that we incurred by starting medical school. I am fortunate that my wife is supportive of this but some of my classmates are facing issues and we are only 12 ½ weeks into a four year journey…

Something else that does not get enough attention is that when you come to medical school, no matter what age you are, you have to understand that for as much as medical school will give you, it cannot give you time. What I mean is that you are signing up to miss a lot of life events and you will have to be OK with that. You will have to be OK with family not understanding why you couldn’t be at your 96-year-old paternal grandmothers birthday party (And in this day and age of COVID, there is even less guarantee that I’ll be able to see her 97th birthday…). You’ll have to be OK with letting your spouse fly back home to tend to an ill uncle while you stay behind and study (Eboni’s uncle may be near death and once he is gone, she will not have many family ties to that side of the family. This has been so hard for her and I feel so bad that I haven’t been, can’t be there for her the way that a husband needs to be there for his wife…). You’ll have to be OK with missing out on fishing trips with your dad (Our last fishing trip together was my senior year of high school, in 1989). The list of the events, both happy and not so happy, that I have missed so far as lengthy and by the time I finish medical school, I feel like I will have missed enough events to fill a small book. Understand that once these events are gone, there is no going back to get them. You’ll have to be OK with that and you’ll have to be OK with family and friends who do not understand why you can’t be fully present.

I haven’t yet made a decision about what I am going to do (i.e., take one or both of these job interviews and possibly leave medical school). Right now, I am TIRED and there is so much on my plate with studying. Next week, I’ll need to transition to starting to prepare for the end of unit finals so to be honest, I don’t know when I will really have time to think about all of this. I think that I needed to vent this morning before class starts (15 minutes) and I wanted to let you, the reader think about these things before you hit that “submit” button on your applications. These are real-world issues that you have got to think about and plan for, hopefully BEFORE you start medical school.